Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
