you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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