So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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