how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
