i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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