Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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