Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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