i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
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