We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
