Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Randomize
