Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
