my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Randomize
