Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
