She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
