If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
