just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
