Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
