I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
