Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
