I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
is it fun? or sober?
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
