well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
So squirting runs in the family.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
