I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
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