worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
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