So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
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