I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
