I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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