i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
We had sex on a dog bed..
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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