She's JV to your varsity
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
