I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
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