yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
