Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
