I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
