Just fell off a train. Bad.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
i believe in u and ur pee
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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