someone get that fucking seahorse.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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