You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
