did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I miss vodka workout Fridays
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
