Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
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