ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
