Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
he had hair everywhere except his balls
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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