yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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