her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
