ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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