i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
