Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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