So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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