I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
