God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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