He uses pillows to masturbate.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
We had to coat check the pizza.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
