I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
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