I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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