Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Randomize
